Practice active listening

The practice of active listening can help you build a healthy group learning community but also can significantly reduce the likelihood of accidents. When you are actively listening to someone, you are supporting people to think out loud. This builds trust, group intelligence, and greater awareness of a situation or issue. It also helps leaders (and their groups) make safer decisions.

Active listening requires that you:

• be present with your speaker
• do much more listening than speaking.
• make eye contact and use positive body language.
• focus on understanding what someone is saying, not on mentally preparing a response.
• avoid interrupting, debating, and quick, preconceived responses.

The two cornerstone skills of active listening are Paraphrasing and Drawing People Out.  

Paraphrasing

When you paraphrase someone, you say back to the speaker what you think the speaker said in your own words. This is the most straightforward way to demonstrate to a speaker that his or her thoughts were heard and understood. Though simple, paraphrasing is powerful! When done well, it is non-judgmental and enables people to feel that their ideas are respected.

To strengthen a speaker’s trust that you really “got” what they were saying, consider prefacing any paraphrasing with comments like:

• “It sounds like you’re saying……”
• “Let me see if I’m understanding you…. ”
• “Is this what you mean?. ……”

When you have finished any paraphrasing, check with your speaker. You might say, “Did I get it?” or look for other verbal or non-verbal clues that indicate they feel understood. If they don’t, ask for more clarification until you understand what they are saying.

Drawing People Out

When drawing someone out, ask open-ended non-directive questions. This helps the speaker clarify and refine their thoughts. Here are some common ways to draw someone out:

• “Can you say more about that?”
• “Tell me more”
• “What’s coming up for you now?”
• “Can you give me an example?”
• “How so?”
• “What matters to you about that?”

Setting a tone that invites good listening reduces the probability of accidents

A good leader sets a tone in which participants and co-leaders feel they can speak up, question and share observations without fear of reprisal. Do this by frequently checking in with your instructor team and student group. Strive to follow these guidelines:

• Give adequate time for discussions to avoid giving the impression that your group has nothing to contribute.
• Make eye contact.
• Listen to your team member’s responses without interrupting or “talking over” them.
• Ask: “Are you getting enough direction from me about what you need to be doing?”
• Say “If anyone disagrees, please speak up.”
• Beware giving the impression that you’re really not looking for input.  Instead of saying, “Okay - you’ve all done this before. Ready to go?”, ask “Hey is anyone not ready?”
• Be aware that silence can be mistaken for agreement. Take the time and create the space for everyone to express their concerns.